I want to start off today with a BOBBORDEN.COM WORLDWIDE EXCLUSIVE: After tallying the votes and talking it over with my friends, some in California, some in other places -- I'm declaring Arnold Schwarzenegger your new governor of California! Please feel free to quote me. And don't let those groping allegations sway you from the voting booths, I mean, come on; it's just a little groping. When did groping become bad? -- Yet another question for the ages.

I was watching the tube yesterday and something hit me. Have you ever noticed how funny the word "McNugget" is? McNugget - we actually eat this junk! I was walking home last night and on the specials board at the Chinese restaurant I read this: "Golden Trio" - doesn't that sound dirty?

That last paragraph is actually raw notes to my stand-up act, please disregard.

My transmission is being opened up today. I dread this whole situation. If I ever get the truck back, I may drive her into a wall and start all over.Just kidding Jeep, I'd never do that to you. I hope you're OK in that strange garage tonight. It's too early to write about how much this may cost me, so much like our troops in Iraq when they freed a nation from an evil dictator, I'll shock and awe you with the digits when I know a little more. What am I talking about?

Did you read about that guy from the Bronx that kept a 400-pound tiger and a 200-pound alligator in his apartment? That's kind of a moot question because I know you heard about it. The media latches onto something and makes it into a story. I guess that's considered news these days? Honestly, I don't see what the fuss is all about? I mean, who doesn't love pets?

Bob's apartment

Whew! I had to go A LONG way for that one! I will be laughing at that photo all day and I'm not kidding.

Well, I covered a lot of ground today. Time to go to sleep.

Always,

Bob