Yesterday, I picked up my nephew from a golf lesson (the kid has a busier schedule than I do). On our way home, we stopped off at Baskin-Robbins for some ice cream (it seems like I'm a great Uncle but really I have an insatiable sweet tooth). Ahead of us was a mother and her two children. Before she ordered, she asked for a couple of samples. One was for rainbow ice cream (understandable), the other was for chocolate ice cream. Not chocolate zimzam or chocolate raspberry, just plain chocolate ice cream. What the F#@k?! Do you really need to waste my time, or in this case my nephew's time, getting a sample of chocolate ice cream?! Good Lord, did you just get off the f#@king boat?!

Attention:
This chocolate ice cream
will always taste like
chocolate ice cream!

Her kids approved the samples (thank God) and ordering began. But before the shopkeeper could commence scooping, she informed him that her kid, and this is 100% true, has a nut allergy! Remember my jetBlue story earlier this week? I thought my head was going to explode. She made the guy clean the scoop in his sink. The kids got their ice cream and she ordered an iced coffee with some annoying detail like asking if they had soy milk. They walked over to the register. I placed my order, got my ice cream and walked over to pay. Surprise, surprise. She's still there. She spilled her coffee all over the countertop and the workers were cleaning up the mess!

On my way out of the parking lot, some guy did a crazy move and he looked like he was going to hit me head-on! Forgetting I had a kid in the car, I called the guy a stupid motherf#@ker. NEPHEW: "Ohh, you said some bad words." I apologized and told him not to repeat anything I said, blah, blah, blah. NEPHEW: "The only curse word my Mom lets us use is 'hell.'" Ha ha! After I dropped him off, I went home and vowed never to leave my house again.

Have a great weekend!