Loser weekend, the weekend of the loser, loser weekend 2002, Oh, Hi -- I'm just trying to figure out the best phrase that describes my weekend. I kind of like Loser Weekend 2002. The "2002" differentiates it from all the other Loser Weekends I've had, I'd hate to confuse my audience. Friday night, I watched Mad Max on DVD. What a sweet flick! Saturday, I woke up around 10:30 and drove to Nutley to do my laundry. After that, you guessed it, I went to the A & P. I made myself a salad, chicken and pasta for dinner. That George Foreman Grill is the best, the best! I put Deliverance in the old DVD player. I'd never seen it before, it was very good. So, up to this point, you're probably thinking, that's not such a bad weekend, right? Well, here's where I felt like I hit rock bottom. 2 am, I have the old Playstation plugged in and I'm playing The Dukes of Hazzard. It hit me in the form of stomach pains how pathetic this is. It was a sign from God. Yes, while playing The Dukes of Hazzard, God gave me stomach pains to point out the sad state my life has become. Either that or I didn't cook my chicken long enough, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Am I going CRAZY????

Sunday was a lot better as I started the day by having brunch with a woman. No, really, I'm serious. My new friend Sandi and I broke bread while reading the wedding announcements in the New York Times, her idea, not mine. The New York Times highlights a couple and tells their story. It was crazy, how wrapped up these people are. That's what made it really, really funny. It also made me angry but like my friend Paula says, "You're like a magazine rack, you have issues." How right she is. After brunch I got a haircut at SuperCuts. The woman cutting me spoke in broken English so I could only understand every other word. My response to every question was usually, "Huh?" Anyway, she cuts a mean head of hair because I look sweet! Right then and there, I vowed never to cut my own hair again. I also set a new goal for myself, a resolution if you will. This year I'm setting one goal. And that goal is to look pretty. That's all anyone cares about, so, I'm going to do it. I'll start my new goal next week. I need to mentally prepare myself for the long road ahead. It's always good to set goals for yourself, remember that kids. You wake up one day, you're 32 and not pretty. Life's a B**ch. The most pointless thing I did yesterday was charge my cell phone. NO ONE CALLS ME!!!! I make calls trying to stay in touch with everyone and what do I get, nothing. I'd terminate my contract but Verizon charges $1500 for such an action. I watched this great Show on Discovery, Motorcycle Mania 2. I loved it. I watched the first one about a year ago and wrote to Jesse James, the guy featured in the show. He wrote back, pretty cool. The guy can make a gas tank out of a piece of metal and a hammer. It just fascinates me, that level of craftsmanship.

I also went to Home Depot with my friend Jay. It's open 24hrs a day. "It's 3 am and I need a saber saw!" That must happen a lot. Crazy world, crazy world. That's it! God Bless America.